“It was a typical freezing cold Pacific Northwest morning on January 18, 2015.” It was the day of my third pregnancy’s first scan. I drove alone with my 2-year-old and 10-month-old kids to this appointment, hoping to get in and out of the ultrasound room in a matter of minutes. I expected them to quickly measure the tiny baby, confirm the expected due date, and send us on our way to visit them again in a month. This time, my husband didn’t bother to show up. For his hectic workday, the few minutes it would take would be a waste. The photo of the little jelly bean, printed out, would suffice. After all, this was the third time we’d done it. The more pregnancies you have, the more sloppy you get.
I gave each of my daughters a baggie of cereal in the hopes that it would keep them occupied long enough for us to get through this. ‘I’m simply here for you to tell me it’s not twins because my intuition says it is,’ I sat down at the table and looked to the tech. She laughed at the remark, possibly because she’d overheard people say they knew they were carrying twins a million times. But, in the days preceding up to this meeting, I experienced a few of identical dreams. At a gender reveal celebration, I was given a pink and blue balloon. According to the folks in my dreams, those reflected the genders of my children. Babies. I think it all indicated I’d be having twins?
‘It’s funny you should say that!’ she replied as she started the ultrasound. It’s a set of twins!’ When she turned the TV towards me, I burst out laughing. How was I going to cope with twins on top of the two children I already had? It wasn’t just twins; they were identical twins. Identical? So my dream was partially correct in that it was twins, but they couldn’t be one boy and one girl because they were identical. My mind was racing, and I couldn’t stop weeping. I was frightened. More than I was excited, I felt like I was going to puke.
Over the phone, my husband didn’t trust me. For him, the tech had to affirm it verbally. This meeting, which I expected to be no more than 10 minutes, ended up lasting 45 minutes and included terms like “maternal-fetal medicine doctor” and “high-risk pregnancy.” I wasn’t even close to being prepared for any of it, and I had no idea how much time I’d have to spend in doctor’s offices during my pregnancy. My emotions were all over the place, just like the cereal my daughters were supposed to be eating on the floor.
Our horrified souls began to relax after a few days of processing the news. We began to feel ecstatic at the prospect of becoming parents to not only twins but identical twins! I’d always been captivated by identical twins, and now I was going to have my own set. I couldn’t help but wonder why we were chosen for this part. We felt like we were part of a very exclusive group of twin parents. But why are we here? From the onset, there was a sense of impending doom.
The entire pregnancy went smoothly, with weekly visits. Between 35 and 36 weeks, my water broke. The labor progressed well, and I was taken into the operating room to push them out before I realized it. After a few pushes, ‘Baby A’ arrived and was promptly deposited on my chest. At first, I couldn’t say anything because her hair was so shocking to look at! My other two daughters have dark brown hair. What is the name of this little girl? Her hair was a vivid fluorescent yellow! It was positively glistening! I wish I had a picture of my face at that time because I was so stunned that I didn’t know what to do. Is she a blondie? Do you have two blondies? I’m aware that genetics can be fickle, and that my mother’s family includes some blonde-haired members… But I never imagined I’d have one in a million years.
Just a few minutes later, ‘Baby B’ appeared, sporting the same dazzling neon yellow hair. I expected her to have it as well, but seeing it on her was just as unexpected as seeing it on her sister. They didn’t stay with me for long since they were rushed away to the NICU right away. ‘Baby A’ was a fraction of the size of ‘Baby B.’ I was curious as to why there was a difference, but I wouldn’t know how big it was until I saw them a few hours later.
They were nearly two pounds apart, which is a big difference at that age. I questioned every medical practitioner who had told me they were identical when I first met them. Their hair was the only thing they had in common, but that could simply be a coincidence, right? They didn’t share a single feature. Those two pounds had a significant impact! I questioned how I could have been misdiagnosed as having identical twins when my twins were clearly fraternal. They promised me that after 6 months, their features will begin to even out. But I was adamant that they were mistaken in this case.
They were, indeed, correct. While their skull forms are distinct and will remain so, they have begun to resemble one another. The girls are now only a few ounces and millimeters apart in weight and height.
When they were two, I was at a doctor’s appointment and was joking about how weird it was that one was right-handed and the other was left-handed. They also have cowlicks on the backs of their heads on opposite sides. She laughed and explained that they are identical twins. She stated that when their egg split in half to create them, it created a mirror copy of itself. It’s really uncommon. Mirror image twins account for only around 20% of all identical twins. I’ve always been fascinated with identical twins, but talking about mirror-image twins is much more fascinating! There is no test to identify if you have mirror-image twins; it is solely decided by physical characteristics.
I consider myself the luckiest because I have five children to adore on every day. I signed up for the task of becoming their mother, but I had no idea how much I wanted it. Being a member of the twin club is like a sprinkling of icing on the cake. The sprinkles are unquestionably the cause of their similarity. Being mirror-image twins, then? It’s the icing on the cake! Being a twin mom has been an incredible experience to witness. They truly are one other’s best friends and are always on the lookout for each other. Their personalities are diametrically opposed, which surprised me at first. I had the impression that identical twins would be identical in every regard, including personality.
While their bodies are similar, their souls are not. They’re both treated as individuals who are treated as such. They’ll constantly be compared to one other as they grow up, but I hope they understand that their parents see them as two different, lovely persons, not as one, despite their resemblance.