“I’m sick of folks raising misbehaving children.
It astounds me that today’s parents do not encourage kindness in their children.
Furthermore, they are defending their heinous acts.
My kid and daughter were playing with plastic sharks in our neighborhood pool today. Two small boys her age swam over and began grabbing their sharks right away. My daughter, being the sweetheart she is, told them they may play with them. The lads took the sharks and went off to play alone a few feet away. I overheard them talking to her a few minutes later. They weren’t chatting, though; they were making fun of her in front of her.
One exclaimed loudly, ‘He said you’re obese and ugly!’ ‘No, it was he who called you big and ugly!’ The other one was piped.
My heart began to sink. That was the end of it for me.
I’ve had it with children being cruel. From a young age, my children have been trained to always be kind. Why is it so difficult for others to teach the same principles?
I strolled over to the pool’s edge and asked both lads where the sharks were. I then reminded them both that there was no need for them to be rude to someone who was willing to share. ‘You also need to express that you’re sorry!’ I cried after them as they dashed out of the pool to locate their mother. They didn’t do it.
As I was comforting my crying kid, the mother swam over to me and began yelling at me to stop speaking to her children in that manner.
Here’s the thing: I take pride in being a decent person. Confrontation and screaming are two things I despise. But I don’t like it when an adult defends inappropriate behavior. It’s apparent that this is a learned behavior. My child was harmed as a result of your actions.
I’m not going to lie, I saw red. A logical reaction for a mother whose child has been harmed by the unkind remarks of her peers on countless occasions.
‘After she was generous enough to let them play with her toys, your children called my daughter overweight and unattractive. They must apologize.’
‘Well, just one of them is my child,’ she replied. The other is a neighbor’s buddy who we brought with us. They didn’t do it, and you’re not going to talk to them like that.’
I said, “I heard him, and so did my aunt.” ‘And I wouldn’t have to say anything if they weren’t being terrible to a complete stranger on purpose.’
She didn’t seem to mind. She was not about to confess that she had made a mistake. She kept raising her voice in an attempt to chastise me. It was a complete failure.
While everyone around the pool stared, this back-and-forth continued.
‘I would never speak to your child in that manner,’ she continued as if her statement elevated her above me.
‘You wouldn’t have to, because my daughter was raised better!’ I said.
That was the final straw. How are you going to get back on your feet after that?
You don’t have it. You can’t do it.
She never expressed regret. Her son never expressed regret. Instead, she hugged him, told him she loved him and ordered him to go play with his pals in front of my daughter. Neither the other child nor the other child’s sibling ever apologized.
There were no consequences for either of them. They had no remorse for what they had done.
They went about their business, as usual, seemingly unconcerned about how badly they had harmed my kid. It revealed a lot about the type of environment they grew up in.
And this is how you, as parents, are failing your children.
This is how you are failing your children and the individuals with whom they come into contact.
Our children observe us and learn from us. They pick up on our reactions. They take notes on how we deal with adversity. They absorb the things we teach them in these situations.
My daughter learned today that I will always defend her. She discovered that her mother will defend her at all means, particularly from bullies and their equally repulsive parents.
Those children in the pool discovered that no matter how wrong they are, they will never be punished for their bad behavior.
Which child, in your opinion, received the more important lesson?
Raising kind children will keep the world from blaming you for your failings.
Prepare for mothers like me to do it for you if you can’t.”
The story and photos: Courtesy Jade North