I was pregnant with triplets, when the doctor told me that I had to abort one of them because my heart could not cope with such a pregnancy. How to give up a baby?

“My triplets are Filip, Henrik, and Amelia. They were delivered via C-section at the end of January. In many respects, their story is remarkable. I’m sure it’s not just my melted mother’s heart that makes me think their story is unique.

I am 31 years old, and my two sisters are also 31 years old. That also makes us triplets.

Szilvia was our firstborn, and Sofia and I (the secondborn) are twins. We were both born and raised in Budapest, and after several years of growing apart, we decided that sticking together would be the best way to have a happy and satisfying life.

I relocated to the Netherlands when I was 18 years old and stayed there for a few years before moving to the United States. Sofia left Budapest as well, but ended up in Oslo, Norway, where she found and married her true love. They had a lovely son, but they had to return to work soon after. When they needed help, Szilvia came to their aid, and they both moved to the same town. During her stay there, she learned the language, fell in love, found a job, and recently married her special someone, Patrik. I believe it is her prize for being so kind and caring.

It has always been a key priority for us to help one another. This is how we’ve always interacted with one another. We’d be there in a heartbeat if one of us required assistance. We’ve always been able to rely on one another, which has given us a sense of security in knowing that we’ll never be alone. After a few years in the United States, I realized that my life would never be complete unless my sisters were present on a daily basis. As a result, I made the decision to relocate to Oslo in order to be closer to my sisters. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

The light began to shine brighter after only a few days in Oslo. Being able to visit my sisters on a regular basis gave my life a much-needed boost. As a result, I made the hasty decision to stay. I learned Norwegian and got a job I enjoy in barely 5 months of living there. Oh, and I had the pleasure of meeting Glenn!

I’m writing about my sisters since our relationship is really vital and powerful. It’s crucial to understand our relationship in order to comprehend the difficulties I had at the start of my pregnancy.

But let’s get back to Glenn…

Glenn and I met on a dating service and decided to meet up after two days of chatting. Our first date was fantastic. We had a lot in common and got along swimmingly. I discovered that his grandparents were refugees from Budapest, Hungary, who arrived in Norway in 1956.

We met again and again after our initial date. After a week or so, we were seeing each other virtually every day. That was the strength of our bond. Things moved rapidly from there, just as they had at the start of our relationship.

We decided to move in together around two months later. We discovered a fantastic location with a breathtaking view and had the time of our lives. We did a lot of traveling and had a lot of adventures together. Glenn and my brother-in-law became fast friends and started spending a lot of time together. We were a joyful, large family.

We decided one day that it was time for us to start a family. It was simply the proper feeling. I became pregnant after a few months of trying. We were overjoyed and ecstatic! I scheduled an early ultrasound appointment.

The moment the doctor began the examination, she stated that I was expecting twins. To be honest, I was taken aback, even if I couldn’t completely understand what she was saying at first. I was taken aback when I discovered it. Twins?! We intended to have only ONE child. I couldn’t help but be concerned about how things were going to turn out for us. The doctor advised me that because my pregnancy was still very early, she couldn’t observe the beating hearts. All she could say was, ‘So far, everything appears to be good.’

Glenn and I decided to schedule another appointment with a different doctor to ensure that those hearts were beating properly. Two weeks later, the appointment was set up.

We were ecstatic when the big day arrived. I went into the doctor’s office and informed him that I was having twins and that Glenn and I were overjoyed (after the initial shock wore off).

We were almost finished with the examination. At the time, I was 7 weeks and 6 days pregnant. ‘Are you absolutely sure there are two babies?’ Glenn rose up from his chair and asked the smiling doctor. The doctor then took a second look and fell silent. He didn’t say anything… at all. I began to get concerned, believing that there was a problem with my children. It turned out that there was no issue. However, there was a second child. He stated, ‘Actually, you’re carrying triplets!’

I had the impression that the planet had entirely stopped rotating. Two seemed like a lot of effort enough, but three?! It wasn’t even close to being possible! ‘A triplet can’t possibly have triplets,’ I reasoned. It’s a one-in-six-million probability. I was frightened.

All of my mother’s stories flashed through my mind in an instant. She stated how difficult it was to care for three babies at the same time, as well as how difficult and dangerous the pregnancy was. I was afraid and shocked, and I had a million thoughts. I was certain that a triplet pregnancy would be too much for my body to handle. I have a weak heart and had surgery on it several years ago. I’ve always understood that pregnancy would be difficult for me, let alone carrying three infants at the same time. It would require my heart to pump the blood for three additional people, which is quite difficult even for a healthy person.

After speaking with multiple doctors about my pregnancy and condition, we were strongly advised to consider fetal reduction, or terminating one of my babies. That’s exactly what we did.

I went to the only hospital in Norway that performs the operation and was given a date for the procedure. It had been two weeks since the hospital had seen me for the first time. It was the most difficult and dreadful two weeks of my life. I regarded the whole thing a must for the sake of my two children and just wanted to be done with it. I believed I could persuade myself that this was how things were intended to go. I didn’t think I’d feel awful because I was acting in the best interests of my children. But I had three children, and my heart desired them all.

We reside in Oslo, and the hospital was a seven-hour journey away. Glenn and I both started crying as soon as we got in the car and started driving to Trondheim, another Norwegian city. We decided to pull over after three hours of driving and have a chat. We hadn’t been able to face one other in the eyes for over two weeks at this time.

We were able to de-stress and chat about our emotions. We were terrified of having three children, but we were equally terrified of losing them all or having them too soon. We spoke and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and I told Glenn that I believed these babies, like me and my sisters, needed to be together. That I can’t picture my life without Sofia and Szilvia, and that we need to keep our three children together.

We came to an agreement after considerable discussion. Against all medical advice, we decided to keep all three of our children and thought that everything would miraculously work out in the end.

That’s exactly what happened. I had a rough pregnancy and had some complications due to my weak heart, but everything turned out great in the end. I made it to 34 weeks pregnant with our trio and gave birth to three healthy and lovely babies. Filip was the first to arrive, followed by Amelia and her brother. Henrik, our tiniest little guy, was the third to enter the world.

They were little but powerful. They were unable to breathe on their own and were admitted to the NICU for three weeks.

After three weeks, we were able to begin our new life as triplet parents.

The babies will be six months old soon. The last several months have been full of ups and downs. It takes a lot of effort to have three children! It’s true that three times the love comes with three times the work. Because our lives have altered so drastically in the last few months, Glenn and I have both battled depression. Sleep deprivation is real, and we frequently receive only three or four hours of sleep every night. Even if we’re lucky and the babies sleep well, we never get more than 5 and a half hours of sleep.

The house is strewn with soiled laundry. It’s impossible to meet up with friends, go to the movies, or act like a normal couple. watch Everything revolves around the baby. Despite the fact that it can be quite difficult at times, we have never regretted our decision.

We adore our children and have no words to express how much we adore them.

I’m already looking forward to some significant anniversaries. Fortunately for me, I get to see them three times! It makes me so happy to think that my babies will have a deep link like my sisters and me. I know what it’s like to be a triplet, and now I get to see and love on my children every day from the outside.”

The story and photos: Courtesy of Judit Agota